when ur tryin to tell a story but people talk over you


(via lovefromcolfer)


we have three distinct races in this fantasy story: white people, dwarves: who are sort of like… short white people, and elves: slightly taller-than-average white people with pointy ears

(via shazampanic)


I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”

(via lovefromcolfer)


Girls get mocked for liking high heels and lipstick. Girls get mocked for liking sports. Girls get mocked for liking tea and books. Girls get mocked for liking comics books and video games. Girls get mocked for liking math and science. Girls get mocked for liking boys. Girls get mocked for liking girls. Girls get mocked for liking both. What the fuck are we supposed to like? Water? Air? Come on, tell me. I’m dying to know. 

(via lovefromcolfer)

family in a car: *passes by hospital*
me to little cousin: look that's where you were born !
cousin: I KNOW !
me: in the garbage can right there


Petition to re-name the Superman comics into Lois Lane’s Husband: Superman.

(via shazampanic)

baby: a....a
mom: airplane? :)
baby: *deep voice* aoba





Client: I threw out that black pen, it was out of ink.

Me: What black pen?

Client: The one that was lying on your tablet.

Me: You threw out my $150 Wacom pen?

Client: I tried writing with it and it didn’t work. It must’ve been out of ink.

this almost made me cry

this is simultaenously the best and worst submission i’ve ever seen from Clients from Hell.

I feel ill

(via iguanamouth)



(via caledscratch)